Toxic Positivity: A small study

TOXIC: The word says it all, but being positive isn’t supposed to be bad right?? Think positively, optimistic vibes, positive attitude, positive affirmations- when we hear these words the negativity within us begins to reduce and we begin to see the good part of our lives.
Ever heard when people say “look at the bright side of this!”, when something goes down in our lives?

Ever thought what if these positive thoughts & optimism would go way out of hand? That is known as Toxic Positivity, my friends!

Toxic positivity is the belief that people should keep a positive attitude no matter how bad or difficult things are. It’s an “only good vibes” way of life. While being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking has its advantages, toxic positivity rejects difficult emotions and is often falsely positive.

Having positive vibes aren’t wrong, but the unfortunate part is our life isn’t always happy-go-happy. We have to face our ups and downs, but we must learn to deal with them the right way. Ignoring the problem or emotions behind the issues with just a positive attitude definitely doesn’t solve the issue.

Know the difference between genuine positivity & toxic positivity below:

What are the forms of Toxic Positivity?

You might have come across these

People tell you to “just stay positive” when something bad happens, such as losing your job. While such remarks are frequently meant to be sympathetic, they can also be used to silence anything you might have to say about what you’re going through.

People often tell you that “everything happens for a reason” after you’ve suffered a loss. While many people make such statements in the hopes of being comforting, it is also a way of avoiding someone else’s suffering.

Someone tells you that “happiness is a choice” when you express disappointment or sadness. This implies that if you’re experiencing negative emotions, it’s because you didn’t “choose” to be happy.

The Seven Signs of Toxic Positivity

To help you recognize how toxic positivity manifests itself in everyday life, here are some examples of common expressions and experiences.

1. Keeping your true feelings hidden/masked
2. Stuffing/dismissing an emotion in order to “just get on with it” (s)
3. Feeling guilty about how you’re feeling
4. Using “feel good” quotes or statements to minimize other people’s experiences
5. Instead of validating someone’s emotional experience, try to give them perspective (e.g., “it could be worse”).
6. Shaming or chastising others for expressing dissatisfaction or any other emotion that isn’t positive
7. Putting things out of your mind with an “It is what it is” attitude.

Also, you should know, this kind of positiveness can be very harmful to yourself and the people surrounding you! To know more, check out @knowyou_withme

As the proverb goes, “precaution is better than cure”. These pointers can help you Avoid Toxic Positivity!

Here are a few suggestions if you think you’ve been affected by toxic positivity or if you recognize this kind of behaviour in yourself.

1. Negative emotions should be managed rather than denied. Negative emotions, if left unchecked, can cause stress, but they can also provide valuable information that can lead to positive changes in your life.
2. Be honest with yourself about how you should feel. It’s natural to feel stressed, worried, or even fearful when confronted with a stressful situation. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Put your attention on self-care and taking steps to improve your situation.
3. It’s fine to have multiple emotions. When confronted with a challenge, it’s natural to be both concerned about the future and optimistic about your chances of succeeding. Your feelings are as complicated as the situation.
4. Pay attention to what others are saying and show that you care. Don’t shut someone down when they express a difficult emotion with toxic platitudes. Instead, reassure them that their feelings are normal and that you are available to listen.
5. Take note of how you’re feeling. Following “positive” social media accounts can be motivating at times, but pay attention to how you feel after viewing and interacting with such content.

Anytime you feel related to this and feel like you need help, please reach out to Know You With Me.